Letting go of the need to manipulate!

When I was suffering with depression the worst behaviour I engaged in was manipulating and controlling people. Although I understand now that I was unwell, it's still the one thing now that I look back on that time and struggle to forgive myself for. Back then, I could never let things unfold naturally, or let people decide what they thought of me and my actions, everything had to be carefully contrived to produce the outcome and image that I wanted. People could only have the opinion that I was the best, and I would manipulate people to the highest degree in order to make them form that view of me. Three years later and I've let go of my need to control and please people so much, but yesterday I found myself slipping back into a trap of manipulating somebody, and I instantly disliked the person that I became. I have a shared work situation with a friend which is coming to an end and we are trying to complete it so that we both end up in good positions. In my head I had mentally planned out how things would go and the timescales they would be working to, so when yesterday I found out that things would be moving quicker than expected, this instantly threw me off kilter. I quickly caught myself coming up with ways to slow things down, putting ideas in my friends head to hold her off from taking action and getting angry when I didn't get the responses that I wanted. I retreated to my bedroom feeling crazy and out of control, I didn't like this side of me that I hadn't seen in so long, who was this person who manipulated people's thoughts just to make sure she wasn't disadvantaged? I came back out of my room and told my friend the things that the new developments in our arrangement were making me feel concerned about, and we sat down and made a plan to deal with them to make sure the situation still works for both of us. Today everything feels on track and the fact that things are going at a faster pace than I had expected doesn't seem like it will harm me. I am learning step by step to just trust the process of things and that I can let go and keep my inner manipulation monster firmly in it's cage!