Letting your boundaries slip with people who take advantage

When I suffered a nervous breakdown just over three years ago, the main feeling I had about myself was that I only existed for other people. I was in a relationship with someone who didn't love me, I was in a job working for people who just saw me as somebody to do all the hardwork, and my only friends were men who seemed to have a sense of entitlement over me, yet despite my lack of value to those people the thought of just ceasing the roles I fulfilled in their lives was unthinkable. How could I put my health and myself first when those people needed so much from me? Somewhere in my recovery I grew strong though, and I seemed to be led to make decisions that took me away from the situations I was in. Over the course of six months or so I ended my relationship and stopped being merely half a rent cheque to somebody who didn't care an ounce about me, I left the job where people heaped work upon me, which in turn meant leaving my male work friends behind who only seemed to take an interest in me when there was a work conference coming up where there was a possibility they could get me into bed. When I left those parts of my life behind all of the people protested, or tried to manipulate me to stay in the situation and the weak part of me wanted to stay behind, doing what I knew best which was looking after people. I did the harder thing though and walked away, and I massively distanced myself from everything, it really hurt that only time I ever heard from the people I had done so much for was when they occasionally wanted a self esteem boost by checking that I would still do things for them, I never got any messages simply asking how I was or if I wanted to meet up etc. A year down the line I've massively healed and I realise that those people all just took advantage of me, and that I am better off away from those situations. Occasionally though somebody will pop out of the woodwork, and I will get that familiar anxiety, that feeling of obligation, that I must keep that person happy, and I usually end up telling them what they want to hear, or helping them. After that I'm pretty mad at myself for letting my boundaries slip, because I know that person is off smiling to themselves thinking that they still have the power to get me to do stuff for them. I really hate it when I let myself down like that, but then I remind myself that the fact I even recognise that I should have boundaries is progress! The times that I let these people back in are few and far between nowadays, three years ago I would have been catering to their every demand and whim and thinking only of how I could keep them happy. Boundaries that you are comfortable with are the key to happy and healthy relationships, and I know I am using that 'delete message' option a lot more than I used to. Xxx