Shutting down your cyber bully!

I'm going to admit it, I never really thought cyber bullying was that much of a big deal, but that was before I became a victim of somebody's hate campaign eight months ago. Prior to that I had existed happily on Facebook and Twitter for years, sure I got the odd person on twitter who didn't like my opinion on a neighbours character, and that guy on Facebook I worked with years ago who felt the need the need to poke me, but other than that it was on the whole a good experience and everybody who had my mobile number were considered friends. When I used to hear these stories of people being harassed by text message and stalked on Facebook, I would think why dont they just ignore the messages? Change their phone numbers? Use the block button? Since I have been a victim though I fully understand the fear and anxiety you feel when that person messages you and the terror you go to sleep with wondering what they could do next and when they will pop up again. The person that bullied me actually used to be part of my extended family and the stupid thing was that I hadn't actually done anything wrong to them, their problem was with another member of my family, but they saw me as a weak easy target to take everything out on. I put up with the constant abusive text and Facebook messages for seven months, every time one came through I would feel myself flood with anxiety and negativity, if this person was this evil with their words what could they do to me physically? People I told about it advised me just to ignore everything, and that he would get bored soon enough, I wanted to tell the police but people warned me it might just make things worse. For a while my abuser did disappear, but then he came back with vengeance, his words were meaner and every time he texted me my first instinct was to lock the front door. One day he sent me a message with an attempt to black mail me, it gave me a full on panic attack and something in me just suddenly changed and I very calmly rang the police and told them everything that had happened. The police were actually brilliant, they gave the bully a formal caution under tne bullying and harassment act, which means that if they contact me again they would be liable for arrest. It's been over a month now since the caution and I haven't heard from them. I hope it's the end of a horrible nightmare but I will stay vigilant for now, my biggest lesson has been that online bullying is no joke, it causes just as much hurt and pain as face to face bullying and needs to be stopped. If you are the victim of a cyber bully, here are a few things you can do to protect yourself. 1. If anybody makes a threat of violence to you via mobile phone or social media tell the police immediately. 2. Do not respond to any messages from this person, I know it can be tempting to fight hate with hate, but the last thing you want to do is incriminate yourself. 3. Make sure somebody else knows what is happening, tell a friend or family member so you have a witness to the behaviour. 4. Retain all evidence, I was tempted to change my phone number and block the bully on Facebook, but having all of the messages gave me a strong case with the police for action to be taken, if reading tbe messages upsets you then give the phone to a friend who can monitor it for you and set yourself up a different facebook page, trust me, evidence is your friend. 5. If it is somebody from school, college or work that is bullying you then tell a teacher or HR representative. 6. Please make the police aware of what is happening, if they dont have enough evidence to caution the person at that time then they can at least keep an eye on the person, and you never know you might not be the only person making a complaint which gives more weight to the severity of their caution. 7. Please dint listen to people's fears about contacting the police, it is their job to keep the community safe, a lot of bullies do things because they think they are big, clever and can get away with it, a lot of the time they don't realise that what they are doing holds potential criminal charges. 8. If your bully gets a caution they might come grovelling to you with an apology, please don't get sucked into starting communication with them again, stay silent and let them deal with the repercussions of their actions. 9. Never feel guilty about speaking out about a bully, nine times out of ten people bully because of mental health issues or their own insecurities, you can have empathy for these people but refuse to be their victim, by speaking out and stopping their damaging behaviours you are breaking the cycle and increasing the chances that the bully will get the help the really need. Stay safe xxx